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Thread: More Sailing Humor

  1. #1

    Default More Sailing Humor

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  2. #2
    Admiral. R.I.P.
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    A nice one, Vol. :)

  3. #3
    Admiral of the Fleet.
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    Another good laugh.
    Thanks Vol.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  4. #4

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    I like this one!
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  5. #5
    Admiral of the Fleet.
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    Great stuff chaps.
    Keep them coming.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  6. #6
    Admiral of the Fleet.
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    At the risk of repeating myself, I felt that this post would be more at home here as it comes from the same stable as Vol's post.

    Rob.

    A Chuckle for the real sailors.

    Here is one I felt may amuse you in these dreary days of lock in.

    A Coarse Sailor's Beaufort Scale.


    From the book ”The Art of Coarse Sailing” by Michael Green.


    .....
    Beaufort
    No.
    Seaman's
    description
    of wind
    Wind
    speed
    (knots)
    For Coarse use, based on observations made at Potter Heigham and Bosham
    For use on land, based on observations made at land stations
    0
    Calm
    < 1
    Boat moves sideways with tide
    Cigarette smoke gets in eyes
    1
    Light air
    1-3
    Coarse yachtsmen hoist sail, then wind instantly drops
    Wet finger feels cold
    2
    Light breeze
    4-6
    Tea-towels blow off rigging
    Public houses close one window
    3
    Gentle breeze
    7-10
    Coarse boats careen. Difficult to make tea underway
    Public houses close two windows
    4
    Moderate
    breeze
    11-16
    Gas keeps going out
    Beer froth blows off
    5
    Fresh
    breeze
    17-21
    Coarse sailors get book on sailing from cabin and turn up a bit on reefing
    Customers in public-house gardens go inside bar
    6
    Strong
    breeze
    22-27
    Coarse sailors try to double reef
    and go aground
    Elderly customers have difficulty in leaving public house
    7
    Moderate
    gale
    (high wind)
    28-33
    Coarse sailors rescued by launch
    Public-house door cannot be opened against the wind
    8
    Fresh
    gale
    34-40
    Coarse sailors in public house
    Public-house sign blows down
    9
    Strong
    gale
    41-47
    Aaaaaaaaaah...
    Coarse sailors struck by falling sign
    10
    Whole
    gale
    (heavy
    gale)
    48-55
    N.B. - Although the Beaufort Scale goes up to Force 12 it is felt unlikely that anything over Force 9 would interest Coarse sailors except on a television programme.
    11
    Storm
    56-65
    12
    Hurricane
    > 65

    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  7. #7
    Admiral. R.I.P.
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    Good ones, Vol and Rob!

  8. #8
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    Thanks Dave.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  9. #9
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    Your cartoon in the closed thread where the crew are using the ship as fuel reminded me of an old black and white film where the hero used the wood of the railway carriages to power the railway engine to escape and also didn't they burn wooden fittings from the steamship to power it in Jules Verne's 'Around the World in 80 Days' ?

  10. #10
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    Spot on Dave.
    That is what reminded me of it when I saw this picture.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  11. #11

  12. #12
    Admiral of the Fleet.
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    Also the origins of the saying I could sleep on a clothes line. Also hanging out with my shipmates.

    https://www.itv.com/news/granada/201...-washing-line/
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  13. #13

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    Not exactly sailing but nautical humor just the same
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  14. #14
    Admiral of the Fleet.
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    You are Ok with this just as long as we don't start repeating all the jokes which we closed down earlier in the year because we started getting repeats.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bligh View Post
    You are Ok with this just as long as we don't start repeating all the jokes which we closed down earlier in the year because we started getting repeats.
    Rob.
    Oh, was this a repeat? Sorry, I will try to be more careful.

  16. #16
    Admiral. R.I.P.
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    I don't think that one was a repeat but, if you want to check, you will need to read through this thread https://www.sailsofglory.org/showthr...mor-of-the-Sea

  17. #17

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    Ah 49 pages? I think I will pass on that.

  18. #18
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    That is why I closed it. Even my own and Dave's memories were getting a bit taxed, and new members were just repeating jokes without checking up. I only add new jokes if I am sure that they are new. ie Galf's new AB and OS cartoon. It will not be long before The Pubs and beers threads go the same way.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  19. #19
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    Unsure if this has been seen before, if so please delete.
    --Diamondback
    PMH, SME, TLA, BBB
    Historical Consultant to Ares, Wings and Sails - Unless otherwise noted, all comments are strictly Personal Opinion ONLY and not to be taken as official Company Policy.

  20. #20
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    Is that the Invisible Man?

  21. #21
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    Can't recall it DB.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  22. #22

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    Hope this one is new?
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  23. #23
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    Oh yes!
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  24. #24

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    Did you hear about the poker game between Vasco de Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erickson, and Francisco Pizarro? They just couldn't beat the straights of Magellen!
    (Drum roll then groan)

  25. #25
    Admiral of the Fleet.
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    No Vol. I had not heard it previously, and believe you me, I wish I had not heard it now!
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  26. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bligh View Post
    No Vol. I had not heard it previously, and believe you me, I wish I had not heard it now!
    Rob.
    Sorry about that Rob, I couldn't resist.....

  27. #27
    Admiral of the Fleet.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Volunteer View Post
    Sorry about that Rob, I couldn't resist.....
    No problem Vol. That is also usually my problem when I find a joke or a pun.
    I actually enjoyed it. That's the awful thing.

    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  28. #28

  29. #29

  30. #30

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    Not a cartoon but humerous anyway
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  31. #31

  32. #32
    Admiral of the Fleet.
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    So bad, that it's actually funny Vol.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  33. #33

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    I thought this was interesting as well as humorous, I wonder how accurate it is?

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