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Thread: More Sailing Humor

  1. #1
    2nd Lieutenant
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    Default More Sailing Humor

    Name:  86cc75ed8eaa8373430227c7a1a596dc.jpg
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  2. #2
    Vice Admiral of the Red.
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    A nice one, Vol. :)

  3. #3
    Admiral of the Blue.
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    Another good laugh.
    Thanks Vol.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  4. #4
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    I like this one!
    Name:  a67deadaf1b903907246a48094a1e316.jpg
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  5. #5
    Admiral of the Blue.
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    Great stuff chaps.
    Keep them coming.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  6. #6
    Admiral of the Blue.
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    At the risk of repeating myself, I felt that this post would be more at home here as it comes from the same stable as Vol's post.

    Rob.

    A Chuckle for the real sailors.

    Here is one I felt may amuse you in these dreary days of lock in.

    A Coarse Sailor's Beaufort Scale.


    From the book ”The Art of Coarse Sailing” by Michael Green.


    .....
    Beaufort
    No.
    Seaman's
    description
    of wind
    Wind
    speed
    (knots)
    For Coarse use, based on observations made at Potter Heigham and Bosham
    For use on land, based on observations made at land stations
    0
    Calm
    < 1
    Boat moves sideways with tide
    Cigarette smoke gets in eyes
    1
    Light air
    1-3
    Coarse yachtsmen hoist sail, then wind instantly drops
    Wet finger feels cold
    2
    Light breeze
    4-6
    Tea-towels blow off rigging
    Public houses close one window
    3
    Gentle breeze
    7-10
    Coarse boats careen. Difficult to make tea underway
    Public houses close two windows
    4
    Moderate
    breeze
    11-16
    Gas keeps going out
    Beer froth blows off
    5
    Fresh
    breeze
    17-21
    Coarse sailors get book on sailing from cabin and turn up a bit on reefing
    Customers in public-house gardens go inside bar
    6
    Strong
    breeze
    22-27
    Coarse sailors try to double reef
    and go aground
    Elderly customers have difficulty in leaving public house
    7
    Moderate
    gale
    (high wind)
    28-33
    Coarse sailors rescued by launch
    Public-house door cannot be opened against the wind
    8
    Fresh
    gale
    34-40
    Coarse sailors in public house
    Public-house sign blows down
    9
    Strong
    gale
    41-47
    Aaaaaaaaaah...
    Coarse sailors struck by falling sign
    10
    Whole
    gale
    (heavy
    gale)
    48-55
    N.B. - Although the Beaufort Scale goes up to Force 12 it is felt unlikely that anything over Force 9 would interest Coarse sailors except on a television programme.
    11
    Storm
    56-65
    12
    Hurricane
    > 65

    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  7. #7
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    Good ones, Vol and Rob!

  8. #8
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    Thanks Dave.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  9. #9
    Vice Admiral of the Red.
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    Your cartoon in the closed thread where the crew are using the ship as fuel reminded me of an old black and white film where the hero used the wood of the railway carriages to power the railway engine to escape and also didn't they burn wooden fittings from the steamship to power it in Jules Verne's 'Around the World in 80 Days' ?

  10. #10
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    Spot on Dave.
    That is what reminded me of it when I saw this picture.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  11. #11
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    Name:  104400447_1504769469683649_1833855016230862436_n.jpg
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  12. #12
    Admiral of the Blue.
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    Also the origins of the saying I could sleep on a clothes line. Also hanging out with my shipmates.

    https://www.itv.com/news/granada/201...-washing-line/
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  13. #13
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    Not exactly sailing but nautical humor just the same
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  14. #14
    Admiral of the Blue.
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    You are Ok with this just as long as we don't start repeating all the jokes which we closed down earlier in the year because we started getting repeats.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bligh View Post
    You are Ok with this just as long as we don't start repeating all the jokes which we closed down earlier in the year because we started getting repeats.
    Rob.
    Oh, was this a repeat? Sorry, I will try to be more careful.

  16. #16
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    I don't think that one was a repeat but, if you want to check, you will need to read through this thread https://www.sailsofglory.org/showthr...mor-of-the-Sea

  17. #17
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    Ah 49 pages? I think I will pass on that.

  18. #18
    Admiral of the Blue.
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    That is why I closed it. Even my own and Dave's memories were getting a bit taxed, and new members were just repeating jokes without checking up. I only add new jokes if I am sure that they are new. ie Galf's new AB and OS cartoon. It will not be long before The Pubs and beers threads go the same way.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

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