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Thread: Humor of the Sea

  1. #2051
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

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    Q: Why did the physicist throw the stop sign into the ocean?


    A: He was studying sign waves.

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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

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    Q: What do you get from a bad tempered shark?


    A: As far away as possible.

  5. #2055
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  6. #2056
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  7. #2057
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  8. #2058
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    Q: What do you call two Sodium atoms in the ocean?


    A: tuNa.

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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  10. #2060

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    I work with a few people who would appreciate that :D

  11. #2061
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  13. #2063
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    Q: Why are fast yachts like furniture stores?

    A: Both always seem to have a sail on.

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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

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    There was a sea scout camp near a beach where the porpoises were so friendly that they swam to shore every night at dinner time. Every night the chef used to announce dinner by yelling: "Dinner! For all in tents...and porpoises."

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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

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    Q: Why are dolphins cleverer than humans ?

    A: Because within 3 hours they can train a human to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish !

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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  19. #2069
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  21. #2071
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    Q: What did the magician say to the fisherman?


    A: Pick a cod, any cod!

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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

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    Q: If they made movie starring the Loch Ness Monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?


    A: Loch Jaws

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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  25. #2075
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    Q: Who is the most famous shark writer?

    A: William Sharkspeare.

  26. #2076
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  27. #2077
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    Q: What hobby does a shark like best?


    A: Anything he can sink his teeth into.

  28. #2078
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  29. #2079
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    Q: What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings?

    A: A fish tank.

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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  31. #2081
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    Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?

    A: I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.

  32. #2082
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  33. #2083
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    Q: Why are manatees so wrinkled?

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    A: Did you ever try to iron one?

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    Q: Where do little fishes go in the morning?


    A: To plaice school.

  35. #2085
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    A story from a New Zealander.

    True penguin story. A friend of mine here in New Zealand had little blue penguins nesting under his house. They make a terrible braying noise at night like donkeys, and my friend was getting fed up with the disruption. “What should I do?” he asked, not wanting to hurt them. “Take them to the zoo” I suggested.
    I caught up with him later in the day – and to my surprise he still had the penguins in a cardbord box. “I thought you were taking them to the zoo” I said. “Yes” he said. “We’ve been to the zoo, and now they want to go to the movies”.
    OK, I lied.

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    Q: What do you call the mushy stuff stuck between a great white's shark teeth?

    A: Slow swimmers.

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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

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    Q: If the earth was flat and a fish swam over the edge, where would it go?

    A: Trouter space.

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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

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    Q: Which legendary singer do beach resorts love to host?


    A: Sandie Shaw


  41. #2091
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  42. #2092
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    Q: What do you call a lazy crayfish?


    A: A Slobster

  43. #2093
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  44. #2094
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  45. #2095
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

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    Q: What do you call an ocean full of tacos?


    A: Flotilla

  47. #2097
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  48. #2098
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

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  50. #2100
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

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