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Thread: Humor of the Sea

  1. #2001
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

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    Q: What is a cetacean's favourite t.v. show?


    A: Whale of Fortune.

  3. #2003
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  4. #2004
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    Q: What is a blue whale's favourite James Bond film?

    A: Licence to Krill.

  5. #2005
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  6. #2006
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    Q: Where does seaweed look for a job?


    A: In the kelp-wanted section.

  7. #2007
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  8. #2008
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    Q: What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?


    A: Frostbite!

  9. #2009
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  10. #2010
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  11. #2011
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  12. #2012
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  13. #2013
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    Good one Hannah.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  14. #2014
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    Q: What does seaweed say when it is stuck at the bottom of the sea?


    A: Kelp! Kelp!.

  15. #2015
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  16. #2016
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  17. #2017
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    He must mean this stuff.

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  18. #2018
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    Q: Why are Arctic seabirds so lucky in love?


    A: Because one good tern always deserves another.

  19. #2019
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    Q: What has flippers and goes up and down?


    A: Mermaids on a seesaw.

  20. #2020
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    That must be it Dave.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  21. #2021
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  22. #2022
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    Q: Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?


    A: Kings Crustacean.

  23. #2023
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  24. #2024
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  25. #2025
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    The scariest and most feared whale in the entire ocean had his son kidnapped by krill, in a guerilla act of revenge for all of the family they'd lost over the years. They snuck up one night, and in their masses, surrounded the sleeping calf, and swam away, carrying him miles away from his father.

    Safe to say, when the whale awoke, he was distraught. He swam and swam, searching everywhere, but to no avail. 'WHERE IS MY SON' he bellowed, disturbing fish everywhere. This distress caught the attention of a wise old sea turtle.

    'I saw your son', said the turtle swimming over to the whale, 'he was kidnapped by krill. I think I can take you to him'

    Grateful, the whale accepted this offer, and the pair set out, searching hastily. After many hours of fruitless looking, they came to a large white cloud, and they came to a stop. The turtle looked sombre.

    'I have bad news', he said mournfully. 'The krill have used their surprisingly adequate war skills once again. They have lactated so much, that they have created this giant, impenetrable white cloud. It's so wide, so high, so thick. I'm so sorry, but it's over.'

    The whale would not accept this. 'I'll swim through it! He said'

    'No', returned the turtle. The milk is bizarrely poisonous for whales.

    'Okay then, we'll wait for it to disperse, then we can go after them again!', the wale countered

    'It will take days!' cried the turtle. The cloud is miles wide, and miles thick. There's no hope.

    'Alright then, can't I go over it, can't I even look over it?', the whale nearly sobbed in desperation.

    The turtle looked him dead in the eye. 'You don't understand. There's no use spying over krill milk'

  26. #2026
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  27. #2027
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  28. #2028
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  29. #2029
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    Another good one Dave.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  30. #2030
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  31. #2031
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    That's good, Rob!

    Here is a 'sick joke'.

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  32. #2032
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  33. #2033
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  34. #2034
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  35. #2035
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  36. #2036
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    See post 1491 Dave.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  37. #2037
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  38. #2038
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    A new piece from the AB and OS saga.

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  39. #2039
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  40. #2040
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  41. #2041
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  42. #2042
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  43. #2043
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  44. #2044
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  45. #2045
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    Q: What does Ariel spread on her toast?

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    A: Mermalade.

  46. #2046
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  47. #2047
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    Q: How do oysters call their friends?


    A: They use shell phones!

  48. #2048
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    Like your new Avatar Dave.
    Rob.
    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  49. #2049
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    The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.

  50. #2050
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    I was fond of that Captain avatar but I have always tried to have one, which reflected my rank, Rob.

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