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Thread: An oldie but a goodie...

  1. #1

    Default An oldie but a goodie...

    This is an old joke that I have heard in many variations. Dave Allen's version is classic though...enjoy.


    It is late in 18th century and Admiral Nelson sails board his flagship the HMS Victory in search of those dastardly French. Admiral Nelson is standing on the Poop deck when a voice from above commands his attention:

    “Admiral Neslon”

    Lord Nelson looks up and responds, “Yes what is it look out?”

    “Admiral Nelson, sir, Four French Froggie Frigates off the port bow – four French Froggie Frigates off the port bow!”

    “Very good lookout”replies Nelson. He turns to his trusted first officer. ”Lieutenant (Leftenant) we will the engage enemy, please go to my cabin and bring up my red jacket”

    The Lieutenant is horrified “Admiral Neslon, if you are wearing your red jacket you will be an easy target for the french musketeers”.

    Nelson replies, “But if I am hit, the blood will not show. Morale will remain high and the men will continue the fight”.

    The Lieutenant agrees and brings Admiral Nelson his red jacket. The Victory turns and heads towards the French.

    There is another cry from the crows nest, “Admiral Nelson, Admiral Nelson”

    Once again Nelson looks upwards “Yes, what is it lookout?”

    “Forty four French Froggie Frigates off the port bow, Forty four French Froggie Frigates off the port bow”

    “Thank you lookout”

    Lord Nelson turns to his First Officer, “Lieutenant please go to my cabin and bring up my brown corduroy pants” !!

  2. #2
    Midshipman
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    Lawrence

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    Cute. I honestly have never heard that one before.

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    Former Admiral of the Fleet
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    Nice, Erin. I will pass this one on.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf03809 View Post
    Cute. I honestly have never heard that one before.
    Neither do I !

  6. #6
    Vice Admiral of the Red.
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    Here is another joke.

    The captain was walking on the maindeck, when a young seaman ran up to him.

    "Sir, Sir, Captain, Sir. You must come quickly. It's an emergency!", said the sailor.

    "Now don't panic, man", replied the captain,"What is wrong? Come on, sing it out!"

    "Aye, Aye, Sir", said the seaman and after a brief pause began to sing," Should Auld Acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind. The Admiral's fallen overboard; he's half a mile behind."

  7. #7

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    Good one David!

  8. #8

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    SOG cant come to quickly...

  9. #9
    Midshipman
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    Hehehe, liked that one, David

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