A Chuckle for the real sailors.

Here is one I felt may amuse you in these dreary days of lock in. A Coarse Sailor's Beaufort Scale. From the book ”The Art of Coarse Sailing” by Michael Green.

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Beaufort No.	Seaman's description of wind	Wind speed (knots)	For Coarse use, based on observations made at Potter Heigham and Bosham	For use on land, based on observations made at land stations
0	Calm	< 1	Boat moves sideways with tide	Cigarette smoke gets in eyes
1	Light air	1-3	Coarse yachtsmen hoist sail, then wind instantly drops	Wet finger feels cold
2	Light breeze	4-6	Tea-towels blow off rigging	Public houses close one window
3	Gentle breeze	7-10	Coarse boats careen. Difficult to make tea underway	Public houses close two windows
4	Moderate breeze	11-16	Gas keeps going out	Beer froth blows off
5	Fresh breeze	17-21	Coarse sailors get book on sailing from cabin and turn up a bit on reefing	Customers in public-house gardens go inside bar
6	Strong breeze	22-27	Coarse sailors try to double reef and go aground	Elderly customers have difficulty in leaving public house
7	Moderate gale (high wind)	28-33	Coarse sailors rescued by launch	Public-house door cannot be opened against the wind
8	Fresh gale	34-40	Coarse sailors in public house :drinks:	Public-house sign blows down
9	Strong gale	41-47	Aaaaaaaaaah...	Coarse sailors struck by falling sign
10	Whole gale (heavy gale)	48-55	N.B. - Although the Beaufort Scale goes up to Force 12 it is felt unlikely that anything over Force 9 would interest Coarse sailors except on a television programme.
11	Storm	56-65
12	Hurricane	> 65

Fun !!!